I haven't had much to say lately. It seems that the conflict I have been feeling while "straddling" the divide (my perception) between Christianity and Buddhism has pretty much faded away. Not to say that I don't still grapple with worded concepts while recognizing the "sameness" of the "non-dualistic state/"buddha nature"/"unity of the cosmos". I do, but I am enjoying the whole process and am benefiting terrifically on many levels.
1) an increased freshness of personal practice
2) better intellectual understanding (new perspectives) of what practice is which then allows me to better share the "fruits" of practice with others
3) recovering a part of Karen which had been placed to one side for many years which now equals an even greater ease in the world these days
4) new friends
5) --- and I never thought I would say it, - but- there is a joy in dusting off and using my "critical' faculties and "learning" again in the academic arena of life.
So all in all, this is turning out to be a very stimulating, overall pleasant experience.
Today, I watched a couple of lectures given by James Finley of the Living School and read several of the texts assigned. These included an old favorite:
Once again, this is a book I have not revisited in more than 20, perhaps even 30 years. And, once again, it is fertile ground in the re-plowing. Same - same, but different. Different - different, but same. I can hold both same and different at the same time, but for me the "sameness" seems more true, and I ponder once again, how is it we all cannot see the "sameness" everywhere - in everything - in everyone? As humans, we connect with the experience of sameness and separate with perceptions/feelings of difference. The universe is both unity and multiplicity at the same time. Its just that, it seems to me, if one "knows' sameness, then when one separates existence into convenient "parts" for study and analysis, one never feels threatened by "other" for at another level we know "other" is part of the whole, is us.
Sometimes when I land here, I feel very tired and sometimes enormous sadness overtakes me. How can people treat each other, other sentient beings, the earth itself, they way they do? How is it they cannot see our oneness? They suffer so! And, they cause so much suffering in their blindness, in their aloneness, in their pain. I wonder how is it I cannot communicate this "wholeness" to them - and then I remember, no one could give me this experience either. I had to sit still. I had to do/be practice. I also remembered, that this sense of wholeness and embeddedness is not a constant. It still fluctuates, and even though I "live" here most of the time these days, I can still feel isolated and cut off from "other" too from time to time. It is not a choice when the "perceptual" field shifts - but it is the choice made again and again to be aware of such shifts when made, that allows us not to be overwhelmed by such shifts. Same - same, but different. Different - different, but same. Unity in multiplicity. Multiplicity in unity.
I grew blue holding life as it is today. Sometimes I think things will never change - and on days like this, it is not okay that this may be true. (So much pain forever and forever! I don't want that!!!) Then an unknowing bodhisattva sent me this, (never knowing of my "blueness").
We are never alone - ever!
1) an increased freshness of personal practice
2) better intellectual understanding (new perspectives) of what practice is which then allows me to better share the "fruits" of practice with others
3) recovering a part of Karen which had been placed to one side for many years which now equals an even greater ease in the world these days
4) new friends
5) --- and I never thought I would say it, - but- there is a joy in dusting off and using my "critical' faculties and "learning" again in the academic arena of life.
So all in all, this is turning out to be a very stimulating, overall pleasant experience.
***************
Today, I watched a couple of lectures given by James Finley of the Living School and read several of the texts assigned. These included an old favorite:
Once again, this is a book I have not revisited in more than 20, perhaps even 30 years. And, once again, it is fertile ground in the re-plowing. Same - same, but different. Different - different, but same. I can hold both same and different at the same time, but for me the "sameness" seems more true, and I ponder once again, how is it we all cannot see the "sameness" everywhere - in everything - in everyone? As humans, we connect with the experience of sameness and separate with perceptions/feelings of difference. The universe is both unity and multiplicity at the same time. Its just that, it seems to me, if one "knows' sameness, then when one separates existence into convenient "parts" for study and analysis, one never feels threatened by "other" for at another level we know "other" is part of the whole, is us.
Sometimes when I land here, I feel very tired and sometimes enormous sadness overtakes me. How can people treat each other, other sentient beings, the earth itself, they way they do? How is it they cannot see our oneness? They suffer so! And, they cause so much suffering in their blindness, in their aloneness, in their pain. I wonder how is it I cannot communicate this "wholeness" to them - and then I remember, no one could give me this experience either. I had to sit still. I had to do/be practice. I also remembered, that this sense of wholeness and embeddedness is not a constant. It still fluctuates, and even though I "live" here most of the time these days, I can still feel isolated and cut off from "other" too from time to time. It is not a choice when the "perceptual" field shifts - but it is the choice made again and again to be aware of such shifts when made, that allows us not to be overwhelmed by such shifts. Same - same, but different. Different - different, but same. Unity in multiplicity. Multiplicity in unity.
I grew blue holding life as it is today. Sometimes I think things will never change - and on days like this, it is not okay that this may be true. (So much pain forever and forever! I don't want that!!!) Then an unknowing bodhisattva sent me this, (never knowing of my "blueness").
Just the medicine I needed. Yes! It is there, innate kindness and empathy, and I remember that it is possible for all of us to open to this, and that, even when we run into those who would harm us or others, we can still connect empathically with them through their (and our) fear, rage, disgust, etc. which they are experiencing in the moment. We can always connect as human beings (or with other sentient beings as well - ie. scared dog tries to bite rescuer) as both of us know how terror, hate, anger, jealousy, etc. feels as part of the experience of life. So, today I could connect with all the others in the world who feel the same sadness as I did today, who are, like me as I was an hour ago, feeling as if the world can never change, and that it SHOULD be different than it is!!!!).
I cannot choose what feelings come to me or when, but I can choose how to work with them.
"May all beings attain Buddhahood"
It's such a joy to read this blog. *hug*
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